Priorities and moving forward

I just returned home from a 1 week visit in Paris, and it was hard.  I left the husband and Sofie at home.  It broke my heart to hear about how sad they were while I was away.

Since I have gotten home, Sofie is happy.  But, there has been regression in behavior.  The first thing that goes is always night-time/nap-time potty training.  I don't understand it.  I have read about i and the specialists say that we shouldn't worry until she turns 5 but she was so potty trained in China.  It is completely weird.  Today, she didn't even take much of a nap and she still wet the diaper.  Also, she is crying any time anything doesn't go her way, which was how it was when we first got her.  I am trying not to lose my temper with her expression of frustration and continue to be as loving as I can.  I know it has been hard for her.

When I was in Paris, I met this interesting colleague who was enthralled with my story of adoption, and she had lots of questions.  It was like she looked deep within my soul, and she tried to give me advice of what she had learned on her journey with her 2 sons.  She talked a lot about the typical company profile and how it tends to recruit hard working, challenge loving junkies who have a hard time setting limits and saying "no".  I totally meet that criteria and have been an over-working fool over the last 15 years.

Anyway, she said that she had seen a lot of new mothers get burned out as a result of their inability to set limits and that she herself had struggled with it when she was a new mom.  She recommended that I think about what my limits are and how to make sure that I respect them.  It was a timely discussion (I don't doubt that this is higher intelligence trying to keep me on track) and I do feel like I have been out of control.  I have been working 12 hour days regularly in the 4 months I am back, and the upcoming travel schedule for Q3 is gruesome.  Also, we are going to be commercializing our new software and there is potential to work 16 hour days every day to make things work.

Every time I leave home, Sofie suffers at the moment, and I wonder if I need to give her more mommy time so she feels more secure.  I don't know what the long term ramifications of my traveling & the adoption will be (will she always feel abandoned because I leave her regularly)?  How can I balance the needs of my child with the needs of my job with the needs of my husband and my needs?  It seems exceptionally tricky.  I am not good at having limits - as seen by my numerous knee surgeries, bad joints, pinched nerves and achievement driven success.  How can I put them on myself and remain an outstanding member of the team delivering what the company needs?  How can I say "no"?  Can I say "no" and still respect myself?  I am struggling with these questions at the moment.

Meanwhile, our next round of visitors is arriving tomorrow (a Norwegian family of 4) who is staying off and on for a couple weeks.  We are unaware of what their English level is and I am feeling a bit of trepidation about it, but what can I do but seize the day and go with the flow (and drink?)?

Oh wait, they don't drink.  What on earth will we do together? LOL. I am kidding.  I have reduced the sauce significantly since Sofie came into our life. I just don't feel as compelled to drink it, and I have been on a bit of a health improvement kick for months.  I became a vegetarian about a month and a half ago (some days are better than others; being a vegetarian in Paris is nearly impossible)... Anyway, respecting my body and feeding it better fuel has been part of my health kick which means less alcohol, though I do have the occasional margarita.  Boy, this turned into a rambling about alcohol.

Anyway, what to do?  Where is the balance?  How can I do it?  I need your love and support to make it so.

All my best.