Sunday, September 22, 2013

The start of fall - Application of Love and Logic

Hello Friends!

As you know, Sofie is an amazing bundle of energy and joy (most of the time joy - sometimes crazy). We are so blessed that she joined our family.  Next year she starts kindergarten, and it amazes me how grown up she will be.  The time where she was a short toddler singing "twinkle twinkle" seems like a distant memory. 

For these crazy times, we ordered the 0-6 Year box set of Love & Logic, which included 2 books and 4 CDs.  It has been an experiment applying these techniques to our 4 year old.  Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.

The whole premise is that you are consistent with your child at all times and let THEM figure out what went wrong & avoid the mishap again.  It is tricky to see that your child is going to have an "accident" - whether dropping a cup on the floor, flipping a chair onto another person, or having dinner time be over because they are flinging food across the room.  You express sadness that the accident occurred, and you let the child take responsibility for himself/herself.  Sofie has had to own up to a lot of these types of situations (when she flipped her chair at a restaurant and hit another lady -we didn't see that coming- she had to apologize and figure out what happened there).  Now, if we say, "Do you remember what happened to you at that restaurant" when she is wiggling like a maniac on her chair, she does and immediately stops.  We have also taken away the 3-strikes-you're-out timeout scheme we had, and there are immediate consequences if she continues a course of action we have requested that she stop.  She can choose between a time out on the stairs or some quiet time in her room until she is ready to "be sweet".  The last thing we have done is given her a ton of decision making capacity so she is in control of what is happening.

In the morning ..."Do you want kefir or fruit first"...
... At bedtime, "do you want to brush your teeth or put on jammies first"...

It has given her a lot of her control back, and she is definitely more willing to do occasional commands more often without a fight.  We also don't spend a lot of time reasoning with her which made a huge difference.

There are still the occasional temper tantrums occurring, but they are much less frequent than before.  I recommend it to anyone.  You can also use this on kids, tweens, teens, and adults. I have had success using it with a difficult colleague actually too.

It has been very exciting.

Sofie recently got a new teacher at school, and it seems like there are bumpy times ahead.  At first, she was getting star daily ratings, and this week, something is going on at school where Sofie is rebelling a bit.  I am not sure if it is the management style or Sofie testing limits again.  I also have been working more (got a new job and my boss was in town last week), so this might be part of it.  I am headed out of town this week so it will be interesting to see how it goes.

A funny thing that has recently happened is that Sofie has been assigning us names & characters and directing our play.  She tells me that I am Soda & she is Hildegard - yes, she made up these names and we dont know their significance - it was hilarious the first couple times.  She uses the names all the time, and sometimes we are bears or mice or monsters or cooking... It makes me laugh.

We are also working on baking/cooking with Sofie.  She has become our main stirrer and seasoner of cookies and dinner.  This morning, we made apple juice together, and the fruit of our labor (hahaha) was delicious.  She sure loves to help us cook.

Anyway, this is the end of my quiet time.  I Hope you have a super week.