Attachment disorder

Attachment disorder is no joke. We have been struggling for the last couple years. It is brutal not being attached to your kid. She is always trying to prove why we shouldn’t love her and goes to extremes to make sure she proves she isn’t worth the love. Violence. Hateful words. Destruction of property. Bruises, scrapes, scratches, bites. It is happening regularly and I don’t know what to do. Therapists are worthless. Medication does nothing. Love doesn’t solve anything. I end up triggered and can’t control myself from trying to protect my being in the midst of it. Meanwhile life goes on and I am dealing with loss of friendships (they are moving away), a bad work life, and constant injuries. I am at the end of a rope in a deep well and I don’t know what is going to help anymore. I am exhausted and stressed and waiting for the next shoe to drop. I feel pretty alone despite having my own therapist and psychiatrist. I don’t know if I have the capacity to love anymore.