I read through my last post, and it is no wonder that I came down with a cold/flu thing halfway into my trip in Paris. I did leave the hotel twice by the way (walking to/from) dinner. I did not eat meat. I did have a bit of cheese, a lot of spicy mustard, bread, and quasi vegetarian fare. Granted, they did bring me fish one of the days for my meal... I went to the salad bar and got beet salad.
The hours were long. The plane ride home was excruciating and I have slept more than 48 hours in the last 36. I have the best husband in the world who babied me when I got home. Our daughter has been super duper too. She seems to have grown another inch and a half since I left - all her pants are way too short. I am very lucky that I got to collapse on the most beautiful day ever (72 degrees, dry and sunny... Don't know if my boss really believed I was sick... It was the most beautiful day in the world to be sick).
And so I hack and snort and sneeze. Some of the websites say it is all the toxins I have consumed and failed to release since I wasn't sleeping and eating well. I am kind of not surprised if that is so. Lots of snot.
There was a Liverpool game on today, and I made construction paper jack-o-lanterns with Sofie during the game. I feel like I did my part, as inadequate as it was. Now, the hubby is shopping for some sort of dinner... He took her to a birthday party at old McDonald's farm this morning... And I am just lying here, hacking away. ok, I have not done my share. We are missing a live soccer game this evening because I am sick ... Bummer. I had been looking forward to it all month. I always resent those people who go to work/functions/sporting events/symphony/etc sick because they share with everyone. I need to be ready for Madonna on Thursday and my friends' visit in the weekend.
Come on healing.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
Balance
Being the bread winner and a mom is really hard. This week blew because I worked 13 hours a day and barely got to see my little girl & family at all. It is budgeting time and planning time for next year, and everyone has expectations. My colleague and I had worked out our plans months ago, and my boss rescheduled a bunch of crap this week & double booked us. We had to do the other stuff too because the world at large was depending on us to deliver and I didn't want to let them down. Oh yeah, and we went commercial on a year long development and yeah, there was unexpected downtime.
Our work barely coincides with the other team members and I really resent that I have to sit around for 13 hours in a row for 3 days consecutively to hear more about other people's stuff that needs to be enhanced. The intersection is narrow and could be covered in a 30 minute overview. Last week I was left out of a meeting that is going to be pivotal for future developments, and ... I am consumed with work.
I barely know who I am this week. I don't enjoy 13-14 hour days. I miss my family. I miss having friends. I miss hanging out and drinking wine. I miss writing. I miss meditating. I miss eating healthy. I miss exercising. I thought I had figured it out and then this week blew in like the witch from the north. Crap-ass lunches were brought in every day which were full of processed stuff and there was no alternative.. ok the alternative was water, but for a 13 hour day, it just doesn't cut it.
Next week will be more of the same since we are headed to Paris for more requirements. I wonder if it is possible to visit Paris for 3 days and not leave the hotel. I am afraid that is my future.
I wonder if it is possible to go to Paris and not eat meat/fish/cheese/bread/pastries. I know, I know. Who would want that? I am a lunatic. I know there is a mini-prix across the street from the hotel and was contemplating buying fresh fruit & veg and smuggling it in the conference.
I don't even know where my winter coat is... It is still summer here, you know? It was only 90 degrees here today and the humidity was only like 70%. Bliss. I say this as if I actually experienced it (lie). I did see it from outside the window, and they reported the high on the news on my way home when I tried to leave early (left at 5:30... started at 7:15... ). It was a nice short day. Hardee har har.
I am really torn. The work is exciting, challenging, and completely having the potential of being bleeding edge. I could lose myself in it and 10 years would go by. I was waiting for a job like this for 6 years.
I was waiting for Sofie for 12.
I was waiting for the hubby for 22.
Balance.
Where is it?
I think I have it in my fingertips, and then it flies away
a mirage
I never really had it
I drank sand and ate rocks
I felt the pleasure but withered away to nothing in a second
A ghost for a moment
holding my paper dreams.
Our work barely coincides with the other team members and I really resent that I have to sit around for 13 hours in a row for 3 days consecutively to hear more about other people's stuff that needs to be enhanced. The intersection is narrow and could be covered in a 30 minute overview. Last week I was left out of a meeting that is going to be pivotal for future developments, and ... I am consumed with work.
I barely know who I am this week. I don't enjoy 13-14 hour days. I miss my family. I miss having friends. I miss hanging out and drinking wine. I miss writing. I miss meditating. I miss eating healthy. I miss exercising. I thought I had figured it out and then this week blew in like the witch from the north. Crap-ass lunches were brought in every day which were full of processed stuff and there was no alternative.. ok the alternative was water, but for a 13 hour day, it just doesn't cut it.
Next week will be more of the same since we are headed to Paris for more requirements. I wonder if it is possible to visit Paris for 3 days and not leave the hotel. I am afraid that is my future.
I wonder if it is possible to go to Paris and not eat meat/fish/cheese/bread/pastries. I know, I know. Who would want that? I am a lunatic. I know there is a mini-prix across the street from the hotel and was contemplating buying fresh fruit & veg and smuggling it in the conference.
I don't even know where my winter coat is... It is still summer here, you know? It was only 90 degrees here today and the humidity was only like 70%. Bliss. I say this as if I actually experienced it (lie). I did see it from outside the window, and they reported the high on the news on my way home when I tried to leave early (left at 5:30... started at 7:15... ). It was a nice short day. Hardee har har.
I am really torn. The work is exciting, challenging, and completely having the potential of being bleeding edge. I could lose myself in it and 10 years would go by. I was waiting for a job like this for 6 years.
I was waiting for Sofie for 12.
I was waiting for the hubby for 22.
Balance.
Where is it?
I think I have it in my fingertips, and then it flies away
a mirage
I never really had it
I drank sand and ate rocks
I felt the pleasure but withered away to nothing in a second
A ghost for a moment
holding my paper dreams.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
10 months?!
Time is flying by. We have just passed the 10 month mark, and I can't believe we are so close to a year. We have been so lucky with everything, and every day is better than the past. Sofie is amazing. She is our daughter. Sometimes I still boggle that she is mine. I wonder if parents who have their own children have the wonder (and denial) that this little person is their's. Her language continues to develop. She is learning to write at school (at 3?!). She is so much fun, dancing, singing, golfing, watching football, etc. she has an active imagination. She is amazing, and I am so lucky to have been matched with her.
During the waiting part of the process, it was a beast. I couldn't ask for anything more. I am blessed. Thank you to the universe. I hope I can be the mom this special person needs.
During the waiting part of the process, it was a beast. I couldn't ask for anything more. I am blessed. Thank you to the universe. I hope I can be the mom this special person needs.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
What starts with "T"
Last night I came home from work and the husband announced that Sofie had her first homework assignment ever - she needed to bring a picture of something that started with the letter "t". He was freaking out because he thought we would need to take a picture and get it developed. My first thought was "what is something that starts with "t"... I definitely had blank mommy brain at that moment. Right before I went to bed, it occurred to me that we still hadn't resolved the issue, so I suggested that I draw a picture (duh). I grabbed her markers, a piece of paper, and decided a good word would be tree. I drew the best tree ever... And then I put in flowers too because I couldn't resist. I left it in the counter and went to bed.
Fast forward to mid morning. The hubby called me to tell me that Sofie found the Picture when she woke up this morning,and she was delighted with it. She held it during bottle, getting dressed, riding it the car, and refused to give it up when she got to school (to put it in her cubby) because mommy made it. He thought it was charming. Other parents pulled pictures out of books (desecration) or developed photos (huh? Overachievers?)... Sofie had the only hand drawn one in the class.
The funniest thing is that this afternoon when Sofie came home, her daily report card had her first (and only) sticker on it with a "good work, mommy" message. Lol. I haven't gotten a gold star from a teacher in years!
Fast forward to mid morning. The hubby called me to tell me that Sofie found the Picture when she woke up this morning,and she was delighted with it. She held it during bottle, getting dressed, riding it the car, and refused to give it up when she got to school (to put it in her cubby) because mommy made it. He thought it was charming. Other parents pulled pictures out of books (desecration) or developed photos (huh? Overachievers?)... Sofie had the only hand drawn one in the class.
The funniest thing is that this afternoon when Sofie came home, her daily report card had her first (and only) sticker on it with a "good work, mommy" message. Lol. I haven't gotten a gold star from a teacher in years!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Sick days
Sofie caught a bug from someone at school and was running a fever a couple days ago. Then the cough started, and it went downhill. When she is sick, she has a much shorter fuse & almost higher energy than when she isn't. She went to the doctor friday, and she confirmed it was a virus.
Yesterday, her dad went to play golf with friends all day, and we hung out. I hoped she would be low key since she kept us up all night coughing and crying, but she had lots of energy and my vision of a slow tv-day evaporated by 9 am. We did do a bunch of low key activities - playing barbie, legos, puzzles, blocks, coloring, and then I brought out some craft surprises... I am not really that crafty by nature, but I want to give her those opportunities to express herself in all ways so she can figure herself out later in life... Halloween is coming up, and I am sure they are covering the upcoming holiday in school, so building some masks were our task of the morning. We had markers, feathers, and a glue stick as well as paper mask cutouts. I could have sworn I bought sequin/jewels at the same time, but I sure couldn't find them. Sofie's favorite movie at the moment is "Rio" and she loves birds, so I figured we could make some neat bird/carnival-like masks (it is carnival in the movie). We started by coloring the masks, and then played with glue sticks - not the ideal stick medium apparently - but by applying a lot of glue we made the feathers stick. All in all it was a good morning.
We tried napping in the afternoon, and there were a lot of tears. She ended up not going to bed until late because we didn't do enough physical stuff with her. Her nose was running, she was feverish, and there was a lot of coughing going on so I figured a slow day would be good for her. The joke was on me.
I started feeling like I was coming down with the cold by 2:30 and have been fighting it off. We had a playdate scheduled today, but we needed to cancel ... it is a big bummer. It is American football season, and I am going to have to be the distractor this afternoon. Hopefully I will come up with something else fun to do with Sofie to keep her occupied but happy.
This morning was a winy morning. I think she still doesn't feel great.
How do you keep your kids entertained when they are sick but not sick enough to want to lie there/snuggle? I have great hopes that someday, Sofie will be a snuggler...
Yesterday, her dad went to play golf with friends all day, and we hung out. I hoped she would be low key since she kept us up all night coughing and crying, but she had lots of energy and my vision of a slow tv-day evaporated by 9 am. We did do a bunch of low key activities - playing barbie, legos, puzzles, blocks, coloring, and then I brought out some craft surprises... I am not really that crafty by nature, but I want to give her those opportunities to express herself in all ways so she can figure herself out later in life... Halloween is coming up, and I am sure they are covering the upcoming holiday in school, so building some masks were our task of the morning. We had markers, feathers, and a glue stick as well as paper mask cutouts. I could have sworn I bought sequin/jewels at the same time, but I sure couldn't find them. Sofie's favorite movie at the moment is "Rio" and she loves birds, so I figured we could make some neat bird/carnival-like masks (it is carnival in the movie). We started by coloring the masks, and then played with glue sticks - not the ideal stick medium apparently - but by applying a lot of glue we made the feathers stick. All in all it was a good morning.
We tried napping in the afternoon, and there were a lot of tears. She ended up not going to bed until late because we didn't do enough physical stuff with her. Her nose was running, she was feverish, and there was a lot of coughing going on so I figured a slow day would be good for her. The joke was on me.
I started feeling like I was coming down with the cold by 2:30 and have been fighting it off. We had a playdate scheduled today, but we needed to cancel ... it is a big bummer. It is American football season, and I am going to have to be the distractor this afternoon. Hopefully I will come up with something else fun to do with Sofie to keep her occupied but happy.
This morning was a winy morning. I think she still doesn't feel great.
How do you keep your kids entertained when they are sick but not sick enough to want to lie there/snuggle? I have great hopes that someday, Sofie will be a snuggler...
Friday, September 7, 2012
Night terrors
For all of you out there who don't know much about night terrors, it is an uncommon problem for most kids that starts when they are 2-3 and can last as long as until they are 5.
They are characterized by your child seeming to be awake and having them walk around the house, screaming, crying, calling out, hitting, punching, slapping, spiting, scratching, etc. They can't hear you. You can't wake them up. They seem like they are awake, but they aren't. My daughter has absolutely no recollection of them when she wakes up in the morning, even if we have been up all night with her... Her eyes are wide open. She follows the light. She seems awake, but she really isn't. It is real hard to calm her down. She doesn't hear what we say. Usually, it takes about 20-90 minutes to get her back to sleep. On bad nights, she will have them back to back all night. Last night was a killer.
The doctors say that having an irregular bedtime routine contributes to them (being overtired). What I have found is that if our daughter is going through a period of change (new teacher at school, mommy traveling, new people in/out of house, missing cat, slightly different routine), she feels the change more profoundly than most kids and she reacts by having night terrors. The other thing that used to make a difference, but doesn't seem to now based on last night, is that when she slept in our room, she didn't have them. For the first time, she had them in our room which totally blew my mind. Our room has been our safe place, and I don't know what the impetus was for her to feel uncomfortable.
Sure, some nights she is restless and "fighting" all night. I didn't really characterize them as night terrors because she wasn't running around the house.
I am not giving up hope that she will work these things out.
They are characterized by your child seeming to be awake and having them walk around the house, screaming, crying, calling out, hitting, punching, slapping, spiting, scratching, etc. They can't hear you. You can't wake them up. They seem like they are awake, but they aren't. My daughter has absolutely no recollection of them when she wakes up in the morning, even if we have been up all night with her... Her eyes are wide open. She follows the light. She seems awake, but she really isn't. It is real hard to calm her down. She doesn't hear what we say. Usually, it takes about 20-90 minutes to get her back to sleep. On bad nights, she will have them back to back all night. Last night was a killer.
The doctors say that having an irregular bedtime routine contributes to them (being overtired). What I have found is that if our daughter is going through a period of change (new teacher at school, mommy traveling, new people in/out of house, missing cat, slightly different routine), she feels the change more profoundly than most kids and she reacts by having night terrors. The other thing that used to make a difference, but doesn't seem to now based on last night, is that when she slept in our room, she didn't have them. For the first time, she had them in our room which totally blew my mind. Our room has been our safe place, and I don't know what the impetus was for her to feel uncomfortable.
Sure, some nights she is restless and "fighting" all night. I didn't really characterize them as night terrors because she wasn't running around the house.
I am not giving up hope that she will work these things out.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Rosey glasses
We had the best long weekend. Sofie was attached to my arm in a death grip the whole time, but we managed to get around town alright. Her development has come so far - we were playing with the magnetic etch a sketch yesterday and she wanted me to make a eh-eh-min ... I couldn't figure it out. It sounded like vitamin to me... She laughed at me, dug around in her toy chest and out came the spiderman flashlight. She pointed and said eh-eh-min, and then I laughed, delighted we figured tur how to communicate.
We also went to the jumpa jumpa place (activity place for kids <7) and she made instantaneous friends with another pretty little girl in a pink skirt. They were both jumping on an airpad and tossing little balls/chasing them off the pad like maniacs. Anywhere Sofie went, the little girl followed. I have one charismatic kid! I was so proud of her for making friends so fast with an older girl and handling the situation so well. Also, they have this kiddie sized train that is arm propelled and she loves it. She flies down the tracks so fast and has the best time. I want to remember. When she reallysmiles, I hear birds singing and my heart laughs with her. God I love that kid.
We also went to the jumpa jumpa place (activity place for kids <7) and she made instantaneous friends with another pretty little girl in a pink skirt. They were both jumping on an airpad and tossing little balls/chasing them off the pad like maniacs. Anywhere Sofie went, the little girl followed. I have one charismatic kid! I was so proud of her for making friends so fast with an older girl and handling the situation so well. Also, they have this kiddie sized train that is arm propelled and she loves it. She flies down the tracks so fast and has the best time. I want to remember. When she reallysmiles, I hear birds singing and my heart laughs with her. God I love that kid.
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