Birth Parents

When I woke Sofie up this morning, she did this cat stretch thing that she does every single day.  I was sitting, watching her, and wondering if it is what her birth mom or dad does every morning when they wake up.  I don't do it. Her dad doesn't do it.  I wonder how many of her gestures, looks, mischievous smiles, sunny personality, stormy moments, voices and characteristics are from her birth parents.

It is funny how I am so grateful to her birth parents and think of them almost every day.  I feel connected to them through her, and I send so much love in my thoughts.  I wonder if Sofie has brothers and sisters in this world. I wonder what they look like and what they do. I imagine that they are gymnasts and performers who found love early.  I imagine they are married and thinking about Sofie every day.  I imagine that they are full of joy and happiness and trusting the universe to take care of their beautiful girl.

For those who don't know, Sofie was left on the doorsteps of an orphanage on what they think is the second day of her birth.  She was both a girl and had a cleft palate.  In her province, only 1 child is allowed per family.  I wonder if her parents had been loving and singing to her every day during the pregnancy.  I wonder about their reactions when they realized that she was a cleft palate kid.  I wonder if they knew she was a girl and planned to give her up for adoption anyway or if the cleft palate was what made it happen?  I wonder what happened to her birth mom and dad.

I wonder when Sofie is going to start asking questions and worry that she isn't enough.  I wonder if she will know in her heart that she has been wanted and loved since before the moment she was conceived, like a thought of a seed in the universe. She has such joy and purpose. She has such abundance of spirit.

How much is from me? my husband? from her? from the universe? from her birth parents and grand parents? Do they think of her every day and cry? Do they know she is loved and thriving and becoming an amazing young woman?

I wish they could hear my call and thoughts.  If they could, I would tell them...

• We have an amazing child together
• I am eternally grateful to you for sharing her with me
• I wish I could send you updates so you could see how your sacrifice of love paid off
• It is an amazing life and you are part of my family forever if you want it
• I love you. Truly.
• Thank you.