I am fat. Obese. Twice the size that I ever would have imagined myself.
"How did this happen????" is what I ask myself when I see candid pictures of me that people take and post on Facebook. When I look in the mirror, I don't see that girl. Ever. I don't know if it is the lighting in the room, or the angle in which I view my face in the mirror every day. Or denial. Yes, it could be that.
Why am I talking about this?
I had an epiphany at lunch today, and I realized that people who know me professionally just think of me as the fat lady. One of the ladies at lunch showed a picture of herself 20 years ago during college. I had a couple pictures of me from that time, and they couldn't connect the picture of a healthy person to the person I have become. They saw a thin girl and a fat girl and decided I must be the fat person.
I wasn't always fat. I remember being 9 years old, and I did 2.5 hours of ballet 4 days a week. I was a perfectly average little girl. I was not slim, but I wasn't chunky either. When I wasn't dancing, I was playing outside. On holidays, my uncle would see me each a piece of candy and tell me that I better not touch it because I would get fat like my mom. I ignored him and ate the candy.
Then, the sickness of 1987-1989 occurred. I had pneumonia, bronchitis, sinusitis, asthma and allergies all rolled into one. I was in and out of the hospital and on steroids for 3 years. My face got really round, and I wasn't fat, but I definitely was puffy. This is when my obsession with not getting fat started. My family would make well-meaning comments about how I should watch what I ate. I was definitely conscious as a tween that I was bigger than my fellow classmates. Heck, I started to develop in 4th grade and was always conscious... but I made sure that I didn't gain too much weight... until high school, when my mom would say, "if only you could weigh...". I had a BMI of 23. I did weight watchers. I did slim fast. I ate rice cakes all day. Eventually I got down to a BMI of 20. But it was hard. And I felt disgusted with myself for being so fat.
I went to college and gained the freshman 15. I also blew out my knee completely and wasn't real mobile. Not an excuse, but a definite challenge. By the time I graduated I was back to a reasonable weight. Since then my weight has oscillated back and forth like a pendulum, gaining more, losing less, gaining more, losing less. I have also had long bouts of health issues & continue to have joint issues which sideline me for months. I lived in a few places and tried Lean Bodies, Weight Watchers, Atkins, Southbeach, counting calories...
When I lived in Denver, I had a great trainer & was also blessed with good knee status. I lost 60 pounds and was able to maintain an amazing life. What was different? I was able to ride my bike a lot on trails. I had a good personal trainer. I didn't get injured. I was relatively healthy. I counted calories for that portion of my journey again.
Then I moved cities again, and immediately I blew out my already reconstructed knee with a new trainer. I also had personal issues around that time and the weight packed back on immediately. Then I went on a Dr sponsored weight loss program. It was awful. They had us eating 800 calories a day, and my entire system failed. I couldn't go to the bathroom, I was tired and shaky all the time, I turned grey. I couldn't think. And I only lost 15 pounds over the 6 month period. I was exercising 90 minutes a day and had severe calorie restriction, and it was so disappointing.
When we got Sofie, I was able to maintain the weight loss because we had an active lifestyle while I was on maternity leave. Within a month of coming back to work, I had gained back 20 pounds... And since then, I had another major illness with ~6 months of steroids/inability to breathe.
When I recovered, I started working out & dieting again. Small portions. Paleo. Primal. Looking at meat made me want to throw up. Over 6 months I gained 80 lbs of muscle. Yes muscle. The scale did not move. At all. Then I tore the cartilage in my good knee. Then I injured my shoulder. Then I injured my bad knee. Then I got sick again. I am not making any excuses for myself. But, bad stuff happened. I gained about 10 pounds over the holidays.
I know I have challenges. When I feel sad or stressed, I want to eat. Most days I resist but some days I don't. And I know I have to change. I have read all the diet books. I pour over all the nutrition articles I can find. I have tried so many things. All the different sources tend to contradict one another and it is hard to know what to eat (except for white food).
Getting back to my story .... so I was sitting at lunch today, and I have been inspired to try Dr Joel Furhman's "How to live for life" plan. This morning, I brought this amazing, large salad with navy beans, beets, red pepper, a carrot, greens... It was beautiful, and I mentioned to my friend that I was doing the program for at least the next 4 weeks.
She says to me,
"Yes, you should really lose weight"
"Why eat so much salad? You are setting yourself up for failure"
"You know, you should try to reduce your portions"... "why not eat [friend chicken and tomatoes] that I am eating"
"You know, you shouldn't try to follow this plan..."
"You know, you need to exercise..."
"Why do you limit yourself?"
"If you had a reasonable plan, then I could do it with you"
"It's too hard for women to lose weight"
"If you had more will power you would do better"...
and it goes on and on and on and on. I sat there in silence eating my vegetables knowing if I said one thing, this lady would no longer be in my life ever again. Maybe that would be better. I haven't decided yet.
Hello. Yes. I know I am fat. Yes. I have read the fricking books. All of them. I subscribe to so many blogs about nutrition and fitness and health. I have worked with nutritionists. I have tried behavior modification. I have tried small portions. I have tried group therapy. I know I need to work out. I also know that due to my shoulder injury I can't lift anything, and I am struggling to walk because of my knee. I would love love love to work out. My favorite thing in the world is working out. I love feel of wind against my cheek when I am riding my bike. I love to watch the birds dart through the trees and telephone wires while I walk. I love the sound of my feet hitting the trail. I love the smell of the gym and the anticipation of starting that first set. I love doing core day and pushups and attempting pullups and feeling strong. I love pushing a heavy sled and knowing I can do it.
I also know what I have been doing hasn't been working. Somehow at the end of the day, I am completely unable to restructure my body. I have read about what the constant yo-yo-ing does to your body, and I am there.
I need a body-reset & super-detoxfy to strip out the years worth of drugs I have consumed trying to get better. I need to care for myself and give myself tools to heal. I need to support myself and love myself and appreciate that I am who I am, no matter how much I weigh. And I need to believe that I can do it.
I don't need you telling me I am fat. Ever.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Guilt
It has been a crazy year so far with 2 jobs, 2 bouts of food poisoning, a cold, blowing out my knee and everything in between. This month, my job really went into high gear, and I am working way more hours (about 4 extra per day) than I have in a long time. It coincides with hurting my knee and not being able to work out like I was, so there really hasn't been a lot of stress relief going on throughout my days. I did get a steroid injection which made me feel like superman for about 45 minutes... Until I went for a long walk and limped back. So, physical therapy ho.
Lately, I find myself dealing with feelings of guilt - why can't I give more to my job (even though I am already giving them more hours than they really deserve... But when I compared myself to my peers, they work about 4 more hours per day (yes, 16 hours per day plus weekends)... And I just don't have that in me. And I feel resentful that I have to work that much anyway. I enjoy my work, but it adds up to an enormous amount of time each week.
I also guilt myself about seeing Sofie enough ... I wake up at 5:30 and see her between 6:40-7:05 every morning. Then, I get home at 7:30 pm and see her until 8:15ish. And usually I haven't actually had a second to myself all day by the time I get home (I HATE driving, it isn't special me-time), so the last thing I want to do is spend 45 minutes doing the night night time routine, and I feel guilty about that too. Her dad usually does the routine most days lately, and I do appreciate it. I just need a few minutes for me to breathe and be.
Then, when I do sit in those moments, I feel disgusted by myself for not working out (even though my shoulder and knee are broken) and chastise myself for not eating healthily all day. Once Sofie goes to bed, the hubby and I have a few minutes before bed... And then I am starting all over again.
I know I need to out the boundaries back in with work. I know I need to get off my ass when I get home and move. I know it isn't normal for a 30-something lady to want to nap all weekend, but I am struggling for the balance within my life.
This morning, I was feeling proud because I made chocolate chip banana pancakes with Sofie and had painted her nails in rainbow sparkly colors before 10... And by noon I cleaned the bathroom ... But after lunch, I just needed a break. The hubby has come in and saved the day by going on a bike ride with her and working on the yard outside while I read a book, do laundry, and do weekly stuff.
I really thought I would have it all together by now. When I was growing up, everything seemed so structured. I am guilty about it being a tornado with random chunks everywhere. I don't clean the house very often. I never go to the grocery. I haven't been to the kids birthday parties (except my kid). I only go to the park a couple times a month. They don't know me at my kid's school.
It isn't how I imagined it at all. And I am plagued by guilt about not being the best parent in the world about not being there when she might need me. About not taking care of the stuff I am supposed to take care of. I know it is probably more me than the world who is judging me, and yet, I can't get it out of my mind that I am not enough.
Lately, I find myself dealing with feelings of guilt - why can't I give more to my job (even though I am already giving them more hours than they really deserve... But when I compared myself to my peers, they work about 4 more hours per day (yes, 16 hours per day plus weekends)... And I just don't have that in me. And I feel resentful that I have to work that much anyway. I enjoy my work, but it adds up to an enormous amount of time each week.
I also guilt myself about seeing Sofie enough ... I wake up at 5:30 and see her between 6:40-7:05 every morning. Then, I get home at 7:30 pm and see her until 8:15ish. And usually I haven't actually had a second to myself all day by the time I get home (I HATE driving, it isn't special me-time), so the last thing I want to do is spend 45 minutes doing the night night time routine, and I feel guilty about that too. Her dad usually does the routine most days lately, and I do appreciate it. I just need a few minutes for me to breathe and be.
Then, when I do sit in those moments, I feel disgusted by myself for not working out (even though my shoulder and knee are broken) and chastise myself for not eating healthily all day. Once Sofie goes to bed, the hubby and I have a few minutes before bed... And then I am starting all over again.
I know I need to out the boundaries back in with work. I know I need to get off my ass when I get home and move. I know it isn't normal for a 30-something lady to want to nap all weekend, but I am struggling for the balance within my life.
This morning, I was feeling proud because I made chocolate chip banana pancakes with Sofie and had painted her nails in rainbow sparkly colors before 10... And by noon I cleaned the bathroom ... But after lunch, I just needed a break. The hubby has come in and saved the day by going on a bike ride with her and working on the yard outside while I read a book, do laundry, and do weekly stuff.
I really thought I would have it all together by now. When I was growing up, everything seemed so structured. I am guilty about it being a tornado with random chunks everywhere. I don't clean the house very often. I never go to the grocery. I haven't been to the kids birthday parties (except my kid). I only go to the park a couple times a month. They don't know me at my kid's school.
It isn't how I imagined it at all. And I am plagued by guilt about not being the best parent in the world about not being there when she might need me. About not taking care of the stuff I am supposed to take care of. I know it is probably more me than the world who is judging me, and yet, I can't get it out of my mind that I am not enough.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
The Year of the Horse is coming ...
Funnily enough, the headline for the "Year of the Horse" today is -- "Conflict, disaster to gallop in with the new Chinese Year of the Horse".
I know the new year doesn't start until Saturday, but this month has been a month of crazy.
The new project I transferred to in September got cancelled on Jan 2. I was scrambling to find a job within the company before they failed to recognize my value (*phew* - I officially have a job since yesterday).
I had an allergic reaction to allergy shots OR had an undiagnosed reaction to something else which caused me to struggle breathing for a few weeks. It is getting closer to getting better. I might attempt another round on Friday, depending on how brave I feel.
Last week...
My husband got a terrible ear infection & his ear exploded with goo. We are still struggling to get him better.
Someone rear ended me (I am ok. Have some whiplash and the car is scraped), and I was narrowly almost hit again (same day; different potential accident; I wasn't the driver). I was leaning on the horn for the 2nd one. The same day a cup spontaneously combusted in my hand and drenched me. I have a secret suspicion that the commonality in all of these things was the dress I was wearing, but I am not sure about that one.
I got a call that it was the end for my grandma and, oh, btw, we think your dad is dying. Come home ASAP. I did go home. Grandma could be at the end, and Dad has since been diagnosed with something he can recover from (thankfully).
When you read about depression, they always ask about a change (job, illness, accident, etc.). Typically they happen one at a time and not all at once. I have been a bit of a wreck. Sofie is a sweetie, and she brings me flowers (or acorns or leaves of grass) every chance she can get. The hubby has been as supportive as can be expected when you are sick. I just feel like I am living on the edge of a ravine and things are precarious.
I keep breathing (most of the time). It has been hard to do anything in a routine way, because every day brings forth new challenges (and crazy).
I had intended to write about the amazing Sofie and chronicle her adventures, and yet here I am documenting a glimpse of my hell week. I gained 8 pounds too.
I guess we just keep functioning and trying to manage the crazy we can manage. I am still looking for the silver lining in everything.
I am glad we have our little girl. She makes us laugh. She wore glasses, a tiara, a necklace and bracelet made of pipe cleaners this morning to school (Princess Ariel). That's all I know.
I know the new year doesn't start until Saturday, but this month has been a month of crazy.
The new project I transferred to in September got cancelled on Jan 2. I was scrambling to find a job within the company before they failed to recognize my value (*phew* - I officially have a job since yesterday).
I had an allergic reaction to allergy shots OR had an undiagnosed reaction to something else which caused me to struggle breathing for a few weeks. It is getting closer to getting better. I might attempt another round on Friday, depending on how brave I feel.
Last week...
My husband got a terrible ear infection & his ear exploded with goo. We are still struggling to get him better.
Someone rear ended me (I am ok. Have some whiplash and the car is scraped), and I was narrowly almost hit again (same day; different potential accident; I wasn't the driver). I was leaning on the horn for the 2nd one. The same day a cup spontaneously combusted in my hand and drenched me. I have a secret suspicion that the commonality in all of these things was the dress I was wearing, but I am not sure about that one.
I got a call that it was the end for my grandma and, oh, btw, we think your dad is dying. Come home ASAP. I did go home. Grandma could be at the end, and Dad has since been diagnosed with something he can recover from (thankfully).
When you read about depression, they always ask about a change (job, illness, accident, etc.). Typically they happen one at a time and not all at once. I have been a bit of a wreck. Sofie is a sweetie, and she brings me flowers (or acorns or leaves of grass) every chance she can get. The hubby has been as supportive as can be expected when you are sick. I just feel like I am living on the edge of a ravine and things are precarious.
I keep breathing (most of the time). It has been hard to do anything in a routine way, because every day brings forth new challenges (and crazy).
I had intended to write about the amazing Sofie and chronicle her adventures, and yet here I am documenting a glimpse of my hell week. I gained 8 pounds too.
I guess we just keep functioning and trying to manage the crazy we can manage. I am still looking for the silver lining in everything.
I am glad we have our little girl. She makes us laugh. She wore glasses, a tiara, a necklace and bracelet made of pipe cleaners this morning to school (Princess Ariel). That's all I know.
Friday, January 10, 2014
Bicycle built for 2
Santa brought the best present ever to our house this Christmas - an attachment to make my bike a tandem bike! It is called a WeeRide Co-Pilot Bike Trailer, and it is amazing. I am relatively unskilled with tools, though I can follow assembly instructions pretty well. I do have a lack of tools in the garage though - I have a couple screw drivers, an adjustable wrench, and a hammer. Anyway, in about an hour, I was able to transform my bike into a multiple person machine.
Sofie was going absolutely bananas while I was putting it together because she was SO EXCITED to go on a bike ride with mommy!
Once we finally had everything connected & checked by my neighbor, the engineer, Sofie and I went for a test ride. She got on first (in the back) and then I got ready to get started. We established our language for "all systems go" confirmation, and we started to move! I got about 75 yards, and Sofie shouted "Stop! Stop! Stop!". I pulled over, and she told me that she wouldn't go any farther. She was scared.
We talked it through. I promised I would take care of her and that it would be ok. She said she was scared. I asked her if I had ever let her down & not taken care of her ( I know - risky question for a 4 year old who has temper tantrums still a few times per week), and she said no. I asked her if she trusted me, and I said yes. I reassured her we would only go around the block, and she gave me confirmation we could go again.
So... we made it all the way around the block. Once we were in the driveway, she jumped of the bike, soared into the sky with her hands in the air and whooped "I'M AAAAALLLLIIIIVVVVVVEE". My neighbor and I had a great laugh. It was so surprising. Who knew that she had an idea of life and death?!
Since then, we have gone on many rides on the amazing Houston bike trail system (who knew?!). It is awesome. If you like to ride, and you want to bring your pre-schooler, this is the solution. And it wears them out if you ride long enough! (and it is an amazing workout for you, because you are carrying an extra 65-80 pounds!).
Sofie was going absolutely bananas while I was putting it together because she was SO EXCITED to go on a bike ride with mommy!
Once we finally had everything connected & checked by my neighbor, the engineer, Sofie and I went for a test ride. She got on first (in the back) and then I got ready to get started. We established our language for "all systems go" confirmation, and we started to move! I got about 75 yards, and Sofie shouted "Stop! Stop! Stop!". I pulled over, and she told me that she wouldn't go any farther. She was scared.
We talked it through. I promised I would take care of her and that it would be ok. She said she was scared. I asked her if I had ever let her down & not taken care of her ( I know - risky question for a 4 year old who has temper tantrums still a few times per week), and she said no. I asked her if she trusted me, and I said yes. I reassured her we would only go around the block, and she gave me confirmation we could go again.
So... we made it all the way around the block. Once we were in the driveway, she jumped of the bike, soared into the sky with her hands in the air and whooped "I'M AAAAALLLLIIIIVVVVVVEE". My neighbor and I had a great laugh. It was so surprising. Who knew that she had an idea of life and death?!
Since then, we have gone on many rides on the amazing Houston bike trail system (who knew?!). It is awesome. If you like to ride, and you want to bring your pre-schooler, this is the solution. And it wears them out if you ride long enough! (and it is an amazing workout for you, because you are carrying an extra 65-80 pounds!).
Monday, December 2, 2013
Christmas is in the air
We had a great Thankgiving with my parents in town. In the 36 hours they were here, we managed to have Thankgiving dinner, watch "The Croods" twice, get allergy shots, eat at El Tiempo, do every attraction at The Aquarium, and tour the Zoo Lights extravanganza... oh, and eat more turkey. And did I mention we played our Christmas soundtrack? I couldn't wait. Oh, and we started the Gingerbread house for Christmas.
Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, the season of Christmas has finally arrived.
We spent the weekend putting up Christmas decorations. This is the first year where Sofie really kind-of knows what is going on. She doesn't have a good sense of time yet and wants everything to happen tomorrow though. "Mommy, is Christmas tomorrow?"
She has definitely been involved in getting things ready. She finished up decorating a ginger bread house,watched it sparkle and is eating the ginger bread house covertly.
We (I) watched Home Alone to get in the mood for decorating... and started on the tree. She found the first ornament she made us at school (a pinecone with red glitter and her name on it) and insists it doesn't belong on the tree (It is hers). She helped me hang lots of ornaments and icicles.
Then I moved on to White Christmas to finish up.
We unpacked lots of things together & she set them on shelves. We have so much stuff suddenly. Wow. I remember when I had a mini tree and 2 ornaments.
Our elf, Toodles, is back on patrol at the house, cataloging her every move (to her disappointment). When she has been acting up, we start talking to Toodles, and that makes her even more crazy. Eventually she calms down and apologizes to us, Toodles, and asks that we tell Toodles everything is ok. I am kind of enjoying Toodles' visit to be honest. Little eyes have a way of checking up on the shelf to see if he is watching before doing questionable things.
The hubby has been quite inspired by my Christmas-itis and embarked on a Griswold-friendly adventure with lights, trees, bushes, wreathes and garland. I am interested to see what the electric bill will be like... It looks awsome but the fuse keeps blowing...
Happy holidays. I will keep you posted.
Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, the season of Christmas has finally arrived.
We spent the weekend putting up Christmas decorations. This is the first year where Sofie really kind-of knows what is going on. She doesn't have a good sense of time yet and wants everything to happen tomorrow though. "Mommy, is Christmas tomorrow?"
She has definitely been involved in getting things ready. She finished up decorating a ginger bread house,
We (I) watched Home Alone to get in the mood for decorating... and started on the tree. She found the first ornament she made us at school (a pinecone with red glitter and her name on it) and insists it doesn't belong on the tree (It is hers). She helped me hang lots of ornaments and icicles.
Then I moved on to White Christmas to finish up.
We unpacked lots of things together & she set them on shelves. We have so much stuff suddenly. Wow. I remember when I had a mini tree and 2 ornaments.
Our elf, Toodles, is back on patrol at the house, cataloging her every move (to her disappointment). When she has been acting up, we start talking to Toodles, and that makes her even more crazy. Eventually she calms down and apologizes to us, Toodles, and asks that we tell Toodles everything is ok. I am kind of enjoying Toodles' visit to be honest. Little eyes have a way of checking up on the shelf to see if he is watching before doing questionable things.
The hubby has been quite inspired by my Christmas-itis and embarked on a Griswold-friendly adventure with lights, trees, bushes, wreathes and garland. I am interested to see what the electric bill will be like... It looks awsome but the fuse keeps blowing...
Happy holidays. I will keep you posted.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Temper temper temper
The word "temper" is funny.
Its first meaning, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary is "to make something less severe or extreme." I temper my eggs slowly with hot liquid to ensure that they do not cook too quickly when I make brownies, Hollandais or souffle. Its second meaning is "the tendency of someone to become angry". Sofie's temper could fry an egg in a second if I could measure the heat. She is really feeling put out with us lately. Her best friend has just moved to Brazil, and I am wondering if this is a side effect. I am told it is still normal for 4-year-old's to have violent fits of temper (and I have seen grown-ups do this too). I just don't like it much when it is directed at me. I am walking on the tightrope already!
Learning how to manage to get what you want through your behavior is a tough sell at the moment.
We survived the social worker's visit. We had a follow up last Friday, and Sofie went all silent on us. I hope the social worker believes that she can talk! I haven't seen the final report yet, but I am hoping it will be good. We have made huge progress this year with Sofie including night time potty training, sleep location, vocabulary, fine motor skills, and pre-reading skills to mention a few. Also she grew a few inches and is a healthy girl. The nice thing about having to do a yearly update to China is that we get to review all our pictures, pick the best ones, and print them out on actual photo paper. We get to relive a lot of memories that way. If I were craftier, it would make sense to make a photo book or something that contains the best ones with comments so we remember these things. Maybe the hubby would be interested?
My infinite spare time is up. Have a great one.
Its first meaning, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary is "to make something less severe or extreme." I temper my eggs slowly with hot liquid to ensure that they do not cook too quickly when I make brownies, Hollandais or souffle. Its second meaning is "the tendency of someone to become angry". Sofie's temper could fry an egg in a second if I could measure the heat. She is really feeling put out with us lately. Her best friend has just moved to Brazil, and I am wondering if this is a side effect. I am told it is still normal for 4-year-old's to have violent fits of temper (and I have seen grown-ups do this too). I just don't like it much when it is directed at me. I am walking on the tightrope already!
Learning how to manage to get what you want through your behavior is a tough sell at the moment.
We survived the social worker's visit. We had a follow up last Friday, and Sofie went all silent on us. I hope the social worker believes that she can talk! I haven't seen the final report yet, but I am hoping it will be good. We have made huge progress this year with Sofie including night time potty training, sleep location, vocabulary, fine motor skills, and pre-reading skills to mention a few. Also she grew a few inches and is a healthy girl. The nice thing about having to do a yearly update to China is that we get to review all our pictures, pick the best ones, and print them out on actual photo paper. We get to relive a lot of memories that way. If I were craftier, it would make sense to make a photo book or something that contains the best ones with comments so we remember these things. Maybe the hubby would be interested?
My infinite spare time is up. Have a great one.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Coming up on 2 years
November marks the 2 year anniversary of our forever family with Sofie. We have come so far.
Last night, I was feeling blue about a few things, and our little Sofie sensed it and turned the tables on me. She sang, "I love you so much, I love you so much, I can't even tell you how much I love you... You're special to me, your're special to me, I'm so glad to have you as part of my world..." (Barbara Milne - http://www.amazon.com/I-Love-You-So-Much/dp/B0040PV2TE)
I have been singing that song to Sofie almost every day for 2 years. I sing it in the morning when she wakes up along with "Good Morning to You". I sing it in the evening before she goes to sleep (along with "Mamma loves the baby" and "Wo ai ni". We sing it when she is sad, and now she sings it right back to me to get the message across. It was so heart warming and it made me feel better.
She has changed our lives inexplicably so much, and I am so blessed with every day with her. She is so kind and sweet and loving and thoughtful and playful and so many other things.
I wanted this blog to also inlcude a time capture of what was happening in our lives at this time, so I am going to add a few fun facts about where she is...
Sofie can ...
- Count to 39
- Write all her letters
- Sing all the words to Katy Perry's song "Roar"
- Swing almost over the bar by her own energy
- long jump 5 feet
- high jump 2 feet
- pirouette 2 times
- jump from a deep squat
- throw a ball 20 yards
- read "mommy loves sofie" "sofie loves daddy"
- complete the full choreography & song to Sophia the 1st's "I'm not ready to be a princess"
- build lego palaces
- blow bubbles
- make sounds with the flute and the oboe
- make up songs with her own lyrics and remember them
- season meat/pork chops and popcorn
- stir cookie dough without getting flour all over the place
- sweep the floors
- clean her room/make her bed/clean woodwork
- cook imaginary banquets
- make up stories
- direct plays
- act as the leader and the "caboose"
- ride a bike/scooter
Sofie was a lady bug for Halloween and charmed everyone on the block to give her candy.
She is a super special kid. Thank you for sharing this journey with me.
Last night, I was feeling blue about a few things, and our little Sofie sensed it and turned the tables on me. She sang, "I love you so much, I love you so much, I can't even tell you how much I love you... You're special to me, your're special to me, I'm so glad to have you as part of my world..." (Barbara Milne - http://www.amazon.com/I-Love-You-So-Much/dp/B0040PV2TE)
I have been singing that song to Sofie almost every day for 2 years. I sing it in the morning when she wakes up along with "Good Morning to You". I sing it in the evening before she goes to sleep (along with "Mamma loves the baby" and "Wo ai ni". We sing it when she is sad, and now she sings it right back to me to get the message across. It was so heart warming and it made me feel better.
She has changed our lives inexplicably so much, and I am so blessed with every day with her. She is so kind and sweet and loving and thoughtful and playful and so many other things.
I wanted this blog to also inlcude a time capture of what was happening in our lives at this time, so I am going to add a few fun facts about where she is...
Sofie can ...
- Count to 39
- Write all her letters
- Sing all the words to Katy Perry's song "Roar"
- Swing almost over the bar by her own energy
- long jump 5 feet
- high jump 2 feet
- pirouette 2 times
- jump from a deep squat
- throw a ball 20 yards
- read "mommy loves sofie" "sofie loves daddy"
- complete the full choreography & song to Sophia the 1st's "I'm not ready to be a princess"
- build lego palaces
- blow bubbles
- make sounds with the flute and the oboe
- make up songs with her own lyrics and remember them
- season meat/pork chops and popcorn
- stir cookie dough without getting flour all over the place
- sweep the floors
- clean her room/make her bed/clean woodwork
- cook imaginary banquets
- make up stories
- direct plays
- act as the leader and the "caboose"
- ride a bike/scooter
Sofie was a lady bug for Halloween and charmed everyone on the block to give her candy.
She is a super special kid. Thank you for sharing this journey with me.
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